Soil is heavy, but on a lighter note,

You might be a Geotech if.....

  1. You are skeptical of the 57 feet per minute drill rate through a nickel-iron asteroid on Armageddon.
  2. You're not afraid to use the winning lottery numbers for soil strength values during design.
  3. Your spouse points out accurate cracks in mountain roads and says, "You'll be drilling that one before next summer!"
  4. You laugh hysterically when a road design engineer asks for the equation to determine shrink/swell.
  5. You go on an unannounced vacation after listening to the phone message that says, "Uh...we just used iron ore for backfill at the top of that landslide....that's ok with you, isn't it?"
  6. When someone asks what the safety factor is in your design recommendation, you answer with, "Well, what do you want it to be?"
  7. After meeting with a structural engineer, you head straight to the bar and stare into you beer, thinking, "What does he want me to do, fly?"
  8. The rocks you found in your shoe last week are proudly displayed on the mantel.
  9. The word Gyttja makes you faint.
  10. Your boss calls you a dirt dork.
  11. When a fight starts in a bar, you look around for a drill crew to hide behind.
  12. Whenever you hear a loud banging noise, you automatically start to count.
  13. The mention of LRFD causes an immediate rise in blood pressure.
  14. You know what the acronyms WTF, NFW, and NIOL mean.
  15. You think LRFD means Ludicrous, Ridiculous, Facetious Design.
  16. You think a 65 boring project is for wimps.
  17. "Bottom of the hole" means an extra 5 feet of drilling.
  18. When your boss asks, "How about an all-expense-paid vacation to...", you flinch because you know she is not going to finish with "The Bahamas."
  19. You hate to discuss work, but talk about it over beers because your life has degraded to that point.
  20. You think insulated Carhartts, Mickey Mouse boots, neon vests, and a hard hat make you look SEXY.
  21. You know what "3 sisters drilling" means and who they are.
  22. 800 miles in one day is a "quick roadie".
  23. You put off 460s until "the quest" requires 10 days and 2936 miles, so that it will be worth your time.
  24. "It will be fine..." is a common phrase in your daily conversation at work.
  25. You consider "Icky" and "Crappy" valid and useful soil descriptors.
  26. You put 973 stakes on a project in hopes that it is enough because "Someone has to support the Timber Industry."
  27. Your best ideas come to you during "Safety Meetings."
  28. When a structural engineer asks for a foundation design for a 15,000 ton load, you look at them blankly and suck your thumb.
  29. You think 4 feet of settlement isn't THAT bad.
  30. You think utility locators are the spawn of Satan.
  31. You paint your house neon pink to match your boots, clothes, and hair.
  32. You don't laugh when the utility locator pulls out 2 bent coat hangers.
  33. The SPT is your tricorder.
  34. You can use the "Taco-Grande" method for settlement calc's.
  35. You sleep in strange beds more than your own.
  36. While drilling, you know the words "trip out" do not entail hallucinatory drugs.
  37. You consider your "pocket penetrometer" a valid dinner conversation topic, and may have used it as part of a pick-up line.
  38. You wonder why you spent all that time in school learning about bearing capacity when an architect can knock it out in 5 minutes......with no soil information!!