We live in a day where everyone wants to control their life and where
faith is only something that applies to others. The basic plan of many
is,  “I am going to be married at such an such an age and have two
children so many years apart.” This plan loses sight of God’s leading and
the circumstances that shape our pathway. In seeking to take control,
many have lost control and the resulting havoc is very sobering.

Looking at Adam and Eve, we see God taking the rib of Adam and creating
the woman. What many miss is how God brought Eve to Adam (Please refer to
Genesis 2:21-22). There is no place in the Bible where God says, “Go out
and hunt for a wife.” Adam was doing what he was supposed to be doing,
and then God presented him with a wife. He did nothing to earn her. God,
in His love, provided a help-meet, a companion, and one who would be for
his good. We very rarely think of marriage as a provision of God. Somehow
our ego and pride always seeks to take credit for a provision that
strictly comes from God.

In Proverbs 18:22 it says, “Whoso hath found a wife hath found a good
thing, and hath obtained favor from Jehovah.” There will be some
disagreement with this thinking, but I believe that this man was living
his life unto the Lord and while doing so, found a wife. Jehovah granted
him favor by bringing unto him a wife. Don’t think that this means  we
just wander along and never meet single Sisters nor talk to others and
see if a relationship will develop, but if God wants to grant a
relationship that leads to marriage, our lack of constant pursuit of that
relationship will not stand in His way, and will only allow us to better
keep our hearts fixed on Him. We would always pray that any marriage that
we would enter into would be “until death do us part,” and this should be
our mind set.
        
This is the problem of the day, for many of our relationships come by the
will of man and not by the will of God. We say those words, “What God
hath brought together, let no man put asunder.” Did God really bring you
together? This should be considered before you are married. Time seems to
be the only answer as to how a marriage will work out, for we find that
if the will of man is in control that it alone seems to crumble and have
no strength in itself to preserve a marriage. Only by committment,
obedience, and a relationship with Christ will a marriage of today hold
together. The wreckage and evidence of the many who have failed is there
for all of us to see.

It would be nice if we, as men, could blame all of our problems and the
lack of a relationship upon the women of today, but men we are equally to
blame. The following verses speak to all of us and may even personally
apply to you, if you are walking apart from God. We are all capable of
any one of these damaging sins.

“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come, for men
shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud,
blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural
affections, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers
of those that are good, traitors, heady, high-minded, and lovers of
pleasure more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying
the power thereof: from such turn away.”  (II Timothy 3:1-5)

These verses might either describe the reason that you are not married or
a reason not to marry. Who wants to marry one who loves the pleasures of
this world above the things of God, or who wants to marry someone that
has no natural affections, is unthankful, and does not pursue the
holiness of Christ. Likewise, if you are more of a lover of self than of
others, then who would want to marry you, even if you think you are a
charming person and desire marriage strongly? It can work both ways. When
marriage is taught only as an icon or something to be obtained to in a
social sense, then what do you have? Nothing, for that which makes up
marriage begins and has its roots in a relationship, a relationship that
is brought together and maintained by our relationship and obedience to
Christ.

Now the Apostle Paul sets forth some verses that many either skip over or
only apply to those who are married. They address all, for Paul was using
carefulness in how he approached this subject. The Holy Spirit was with
him and carefulness was called for.

“Concerning virgins, I have no commandment of the Lord: but I give my
opinion, as having received mercy of the Lord to be faithful. I think
then that this is good, on account of the present necessity [or
distress], that it is good for a man to remain so as he is. Art thou
bound to a wife? seek not to be loosed; art thou free [unmarried] from a
wife? do not seek a wife.   (I Corinthians 7:25-27)

Remember that Jeremiah the prophet was commanded by God to remain single.
His singleness was because of the sinful state that Israel was in at that
time. Paul is the second one to bring this concept to our attention. He
felt that he could say these things considering the times that they were
in. I believe that throughout history those times have existed where many
have felt led to stay single. They glorified God throughout their lives
in being ministers and servants of God. This should be the desire of all
who own Jesus as Lord.

Now you may not be expressly called or commanded by God to remain single,
but surely the times would not be viewed in such a way that we would
strive in our own strength to be married. Let us remember that it was God
who led Eve to Adam. Remember also that the man who has been granted a
wife from God has found a good thing; a treasure that should not be
exchanged for anything.

May those who are single trust in God and let their single state not be a
hindrance, for God has a purpose and a plan for the life that He has
given. Let this be our cry, “Set our hearts on fire for thee Lord Jesus!”

Amen!                                                                                                                   
M. H. G.


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