His disciples said unto Him, "If the case of the man be so with his
wife, it is not good to marry." But he said unto them, "All cannot
receive this word, but those to whom it has been given: for there are
eunuchs which have been born thus from their mother’s womb; and there are
eunuchs who have been made eunuchs of men; and there are eunuchs who have
made eunuchs of themselves for the sake of the kingdom of the heavens. He
that is able to receive it, let him receive it." (Matthew 19:11-12)

It is not uncommon for me to be asked 10 to 30 times a month the
question, "When are you going to get married?" I find it extremely
disheartening though when I hear people speak of being single in the
negative. We often seem to neglect the fact that some men could be called
of God to remain single. The prophet Jeremiah stands out in the Old
Testament in that he was commanded by God to remain unmarried at that
time. (Please refer to Jeremiah. 16: 2.) If God was to call you to
singleness, how would you react?

The apostle Paul specifically addresses the matter of being single. In I
Corinthians 7:28, He points out that marriage is not a sin, but that
those who marry shall have trouble in the flesh. He goes on to explain
what he means in verses 32-33:

"But I wish you to be without care. The unmarried cares for the things of
 the Lord, how he shall please the Lord : but he that has married cares
for the things of the world, how he shall please his wife."

We may look at this and instantly say that we should not marry or begin
to forbid others to marry because of the division it will cause; but that
is not what Paul was trying to say here. He was saying that there are
responsibilities in marriage and that the focus of your affections will
be divided. You will be compelled by the responsibilities of marriage to
divide your time. Your time is not your own anymore, for making a living
and being the head of the household is something that is a full-time
occupation.
        
Looking closer at this verse we see that in reality the single man is in
a greater position of service for the Lord. He is not bound and therefore
has a greater opportunity to serve. In fact, the apostle Paul calls the
single man a "free man."

To the man who could not contain, Paul had another message: 

"Now I wish all men to be even as myself: but everyone has his own gift
of God: one man thus and another thus. But I say to the unmarried and to
the widows, it is good for them that they remain even as I. But if they
have not control over themselves, let them marry; for it is better to
marry then to burn."   (I Corinthians 7:7-9)

We must always keep this in mind since not all have the same calling.
This is expressed well in I Corinthians 12:28-30, where it is shown forth
that God has set each member in the body and that not all have the same
gifts or functions. Not everyone will teach, not everyone will have the
gift of faith, or this or that gift, but we have all been placed in the
body in accordance to the will of God.

If God has called you to be single then rest in that calling and trust
Him to provide. Marriage is not always the way that God would have us to
go, but if you are already married then you are to maintain the marriage
and love as the Lord has loved you and gave Himself for you. This is why
I believe marriages fail, for many get married for the wrong reasons and
refuse to live with their self-created circumstances. Peer pressure and
the world are constantly working together to cause us to make decisions
that we are unable or have not matured enough to fulfill. The world works
on the senses and peer pressure works on the pride of man. Wait upon the
leading of the Holy Spirit before you plunge into something that may not
be the will of God. Let not infatuation or emotions lead you into a snare
that may be unbearable. Remember Proverbs 21:22:

"It is better to dwell in the land of the desert, than with a contentious
and an angry woman."

As you read this, keep in mind that we are looking at a two-sided coin
and that God is the one who controls the toss. He is the one who is
leading the way, the one who has called us out of darkness into His
glorious light. Let him be your guide.

May the encouragement of the apostle Paul lead us in the matter of
marriage and singleness:

"Brethren, let every man , wherein he is called, therein abide with God."
  ( I Corinthians 7:24)
                                                                         
                 
M. H. G.
     

E-Mail Matthew H Goins